What is deschooling and how is it different from unschooling?

Deschooling is the process every person goes through after formal schooling. Schooling by nature has a tendency to spoon-feed knowledge, give a lot of external rewards and reinforcements and keeps a person on a tight schedule. A lot of folks leave school and find they don't know what they want to do, or how to get it if they did. They have lost the sense of 'themselves'. They want to do nothing more than sit around and play vegetable for a while. Estimations of how long this can take vary from a few weeks to a few years (in cases where they went to school for a long time and had a bad experience).

Kids who are allowed to deschool generally survive and do start asking questions and reading and DOING within a few months. Don't panic! Don't insist! They are not going to ruin their lives in only a few months of watching TV and playing with LEGOs. They are re-learning who and what and why they ARE.

Adults who come to unschooling after enduring 13+ years of schooling usually take a little longer. We are pretty set in our ways, and it occasionally takes years of deschooling. We read, we watch, we think, and although unschooling seems so wonderfully natural and seems so promising, we just have a hard time letting go of the preconceived notions that have followed us throughout life. Many of us have had to be taught by our children the importance of deschooling and unschooling. I find my children are very wise.

One of the hardest obstacles to overcome, in fact, is the parent's need to deschool. We fret and worry and complain to each other all the time on the Unschooling List because of this. We, the grown-ups, do not feel in control so we worry.

We are unschooling ourselves, and deschooling ourselves in the process.
It is hard! Don't worry though, support is available.

For a little more reading I suggest:
A Recovery Program for Homeschooling Paranoia by Diane Flynn Keith